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Quick summary of the gods of Theros

  • Heliod:

    I am king.

  • Thassa:

    So done with you, Heliod.

  • Erebos:

    I hate Heliod. And myself. Mostly myself.

  • Purphoros:

    Fuck y'all.

  • Nylea:

    Please do not.

  • Athreos:

    Yo Erie, I got you some souls, watcha think?

  • Ephara:

    ...I hope I'm adopted.

  • Karametra:

    *loudly sings along to beyonce*

  • Iroas:


  • Mogis:

    Hey, brother, I think you misplaced your honour up your ass.

  • Phenax:

    Hey kids, wanna buy some drugs?

  • Pharika:

    Or you could just make them yourselves.

  • Keranos:

    I'll have three drug.

  • Kruphix:

    All of you are grounded.

  • Xenagos:

    ...What a fucking mess.

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